Wednesday, November 15, 2006

If u ever read it ...


The more that I try, I fail miserably. Whatever I do I'm not able to understand you. One day I think that I know you through and through and the very next moment you seem to be a total mystery. I've cherished it when you said "I'm like you!", but I'm sure that I'm not such a complex personality. Yes, I love you. Sometimes, I feel like you know that, it shows in your smile and in the way you look at me when you are surrounded by your friends. But, at times it seems like you never knew me, or that I never knew you!

A number of times I try to talk to you, try to make little, harmless conversations, stupid conversations. But, I'm not good at conversations, its you who's king of words that hurt, words that smite, words that seem to become part of my personality, words that I want to listen to again and again ... but, you never speak now! I mean your eyes are so silent these days. The words that you say to me are so hollow, the feeling so empty.

I can't think of a reason why you are so dear to me, 'coz I do not know what is between us. I miss you when we don't meet, and I get irritated when we do. This is wierd, I know. But, those times that we fight are impinged in my memory as moments which mean to me the most. Maybe, we are just two totally differently people who are somehow together. I'm a social disaster while you are admired in all places, I'm an indoor stupid guy while you are an outgoing brilliance. But, one thing is common, both of us are headstrong, both of us think that we are clever and both of us hate to make the first move. Yet, when I'm looking for a passionate heart and a patient ear for my feelings I always think of you! I love it when you talk and love it when you listen. And best of all is when we just sit together, say nothing, just sit and do nothing. At those times there are no expectations, no arguments, no doubts just honest warmth of your touch and the assurance that you'll never leave me. But, now I'm lonely and sad.