Wednesday, March 07, 2007

The Long Road

Life is all about interpretations. You see a child playing in the sand and you interpret that he’s dirtying his clothes and troubling the people around. At another point of time you see the same child doing the same naughty things and you interpret that he’s going to become an architect when he grows up. The simplest of the things of this world are often the most difficult to interpret. For instance, how do you interpret a smile! At times it is a grin or a jeer while at other times it is the innocence of the child which is within all of us. The interpretation of the things that happen in the world outside is nothing but a reflection of what happens inside you. When you are happy the whole world seems to be singing in harmony, the crying babies sound like music, even the dullness of silence feels like a thoughtful moment of peace. When the tables turn and the happiness in your heart evades you the whole world is turned upside down. Playing kids seem to mock at your pitiable self, the singing birds start feeing like a disturbance and the silence that you always wanted now engulfs your heart and drags you down to the hollowness of your own self.
I often take to the road when I’m in stress or disturbed. Following the road behind my college in the dusk hours, casting long shadows as I stamp my shoes on the tar which is broken at many places generates a kind of symphony which is difficult to describe.
I was walking around with a long face yesterday and I knew that I needed to cheer up. Happiness after all is the prime goal of any creature. When the noises started becoming muffled and the dust from the moving vehicles started to settle down I knew exactly what I needed to do. I changed into shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt, put on my shoes and hit the road down the village. The thumping of my shoes was initially sounding like an old drum which was being banged by a reckless child but as I started tiring myself, sweat tricking down my forehead, the rhythm of the thumping started resonating with that of my heart. Each step was now taking me to a place which seemed like a wonderland. The feeling of losing your self, the control over your body with each step and depleting with each step that you take never escapes you. It is like moving into a trace which is self induced by your self and keeps on getting bigger and bigger.
I kept moving into the converging roads which were now becoming darker with each step that I took. I saw a truck load of hay about 200 meters away from me and resolved to make it the turning point of my run. I was determined to beat the dark; with each passing second the dark engulfed the hay and with each step that I took it grew bigger and shone better. As the light started failing faster I put in more efforts to run faster. I won the struggle in the end. I stopped there for a while and let the smell of the hay fill my lings and sink into my mind. It was the smell of success, the smell of achieving the goal that I had set for me. It was the smell of happiness.

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