Monday, May 14, 2007

Confessions of a friend !!!

On the verge of completing my 4-year engineering course, the biggest thing that I’ll miss after this month-end will be MY FRIENDS.
Well that’s what hostel life is all about. FRIENDS form families and sometimes mean more than parents and blood relations. We do so MANY things and share almost EVERYTHING. When it comes to doing things the least thing we do is study, but other than the countless moments of happiness and sessions of laughter; jokes, pranks, discussions on all issues - sports, politics, GALS, movies, higher studies, future life.. The list is endless.
And when it comes to sharing things... Well clothes, beds, toothpaste n sometimes even the soaps... Almost everything except girlfriends...
While I am writing this with a smile on my face recollecting all the moments of joy, I m reminded of a topic on friendship which me n PJ discussed one day (rather night)...
Often discussions are concluded saying different people - different tastes. But then how can two or more people call themselves best friends?? Does this mean they have completely the same tastes, and agree upon everything without difference of opinion?? And are good friends the ones who completely know each other??
Few things we agreed upon were that to start-off, people got to have at least 1 common interest, be it anything and to which ever extent but there should be at least something in common to start a conversation.
Then the things develop depending on the so-called principle of "frequency matching"... how well they understand each other. They needn’t have common opinion on all issues but must be in a position to listen to each other, respect their point of views and try getting each others advice as and when required and then select the better option. And more importantly it should be selfless. If you do some favor to your friend then you shouldn't expect similar favors from him just because you did the same earlier!
Similarly, if you discuss you past life it’s not necessary that he too tells you everything about his past. Of course the more he shares with you the more you get to know the person, but that’s not the only way. The intimacy has its limits and it is this level of intimacy and the decision of a person to draw a border between what to share what not to share... What topics to discuss and to which extent differentiates a friend 4m another.
But then again all our efforts went in vain when we felt the above things may not be deciding factor and its in the heart and mind to decide how "good" a friend is..

Contributed by:
HARSHA

3 comments:

ZeeK said...

n1

Prasoon Joshi said...

Well, to begin with let me tell you that though you told me that you've generalized the things a lot, I felt that it was too personal a message (not that I complain!). In fact most of it seemed like a message to some particular person ... I don't wish to know and I certainly don't want you to tell me here (but, smart people like me do get to know things!!!). But, I do agree on most of the things that you said. Sharing does build stronger bonds but it may be sharing thoughts and opinions and ideas not necessarily past and present and things that may make either one of the two uncomfortable.

Saurav said...

"They needn’t have common opinion on all issues but must be in a position to listen to each other, respect their point of views and try getting each others advice as and when required and then select the better option. And more importantly it should be selfless. If you do some favor to your friend then you shouldn't expect similar favors from him just because you did the same earlier!
Similarly, if you discuss you past life it’s not necessary that he too tells you everything about his past."

above excerpt can guide to know d particular person...